2009, you were expected to be a kind year to me. But instead I faced brutal hate and disappointment from both my friends and my family. See I was excited because this was to be the last year of my public school life and an expected smooth transition into a great college life. But look at the end result, I am neither happy or sucessful. And if you recall what my mom had done to me not so long ago, you would know that it was anything but a pleasen trip. Not only did my own family push me away but even my bestfriends since middle school turned thier betrwayed me, finding a more suited face to replace, only to later be backslashed from the one they called "thier love". And after I graduated highschool...oh thats when things almost got out of hand. After working for over a month I came to see myself coming short handed to living in Chicago. Had to throw my plans out the window and worked for a couple of more months, hoping that maybe I will see Columbia Chicago College soon enough. Recalling the pleasent memories in the city with shoulders. Yes I believe in truth that in the 4 days of being in chicago was the closest I have ever felt to happiness in a very long time. But little was my fortune and so I returned without eye contact and without a mope. But to summarize this altogether 2009, you created separation from my family and beloved bestfriends, you shattered dreams and once lasting hope, and most of all you have shown me where the world has placed me- in the lowest of very lows where even outcasts are stuck up before me.
So lets hope this year may be different, lets hope I will see Chicago once again, that smiles will be my common expression. And may God give me a better obsession or better yet a soon to be wife. I don't want to see 2009 in my long life time, ever again. Because if 2010 is as the same, then closer is my life to an end.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
My two strange dreams
I have been having strange dreams lately, mainly two that really caught my attention.
In the first dream, I was working at a retail store at the mall and caught two black young teenage kids shop lifting. I presented them to my boss and he called security and was going to have them both arrested for theft. The kids tried to run away but I threw them back into the room and locked them inside. The young teenagers must of had allot of friends because within 2 minutes a multitude of young black teenagers raided the store over hundreds of them. I guess they all must of been in a gang. There was so many of them that they overran our store took out my boss and security officers. But they were really after me, supposibly I insulted the young kids, I did put on a fight knocking several down but there was too many of them. Once they got me down about a dozen of them literally picked me up and carried me outside and I believe they were about to execute me. But right as they pulled me outside the door I saw a few glaring angry faces them turn into smiles. In fact I knew these guys who were smiling, they were from my urban younglife group and a few from my wyldlife group. They began greeting me in a friendly way because of the good affect I had on them, in the good a brought to them. They began talking to the other guys around them telling them not to execute thier friend (me) But as they held me to the ground, a great dispute emerged and there was a sudden riot over if I should live or die, the huge group split at that moment. Then I woke up
My second dream was rather more unusual. For some reason I was living back at mexico in my hometown. I was working for this huge supermarket that actually does exist called "Soriana". I guess I was a bagger boy or something. I was walking to work but unlike my actual memory of my hometown Matamoros, there were more larger buildings like those that you would see in a big city. The buildings were destroyed though, holes were in them. I looked at the school buildings and you could seee walls wide open throughout the multistory building. My city looked like it had gone through a war, every building was severely damaged. But there was allot of traffic and busy streets. I then turned a corner only to see a group of young adult thugs surrounding a car, they were on a street that bordered the beach. Then one of them pulled out a pistol and must of noticed my expression when I saw it. He gave me a menacing look because he knew I was not a part of thier group. The other guys also noticed me and began making threatening gestures, I kept my face straight but with a more serious look. As I turned and began walking on the beaches sidewalk, a man came behind me and pistol whip me in the back of the head. I tumble down the hill but laid there for awhile just so they can get off my back, because I knew exactly what they would do if they saw me get up too fast, they would shoot at me. As I slowly got up I heard gun shots being fired across the other side of the sidewalks then the guys behind me began firing back at them. I knew I needed to get off the cross air or else I too would be shot. It was a fight between two gangs and not long after the police showed up at the scene. The guys behind me began shooting at me thinking that I was part of the opposing gang, the cops shot a few rounds at me thinking I was in one of the two gangs since I was a young adult also. And the other gang shot at me thinking I was of the opposing gang. But the fight strictly held between all three of them . I soon found cover out in the wooden docks of the beach, where I watched this violence fight occurin out near the parking lot of the beach. All three groups seemed to be off my back and some girl about my age was also near the docks watching with me as this was all occuring. We began briefly talking but I couldn't recall our conversation word by word. After awhile I checked the time again, It was getting late I needed to be at work. So I said goodbye to the woman, rushed across the beach taking cover at some points, until I finally made it out of the gunfiring street. I made it to work at the huge supermarket. I woke up right after.
Interesting dreams, sure to have some kind of subconcience symbolism behind it. Both involving work and young adults fighting. If this is a premonition, something unwelcoming is to occur. But its just another dream to me.
In the first dream, I was working at a retail store at the mall and caught two black young teenage kids shop lifting. I presented them to my boss and he called security and was going to have them both arrested for theft. The kids tried to run away but I threw them back into the room and locked them inside. The young teenagers must of had allot of friends because within 2 minutes a multitude of young black teenagers raided the store over hundreds of them. I guess they all must of been in a gang. There was so many of them that they overran our store took out my boss and security officers. But they were really after me, supposibly I insulted the young kids, I did put on a fight knocking several down but there was too many of them. Once they got me down about a dozen of them literally picked me up and carried me outside and I believe they were about to execute me. But right as they pulled me outside the door I saw a few glaring angry faces them turn into smiles. In fact I knew these guys who were smiling, they were from my urban younglife group and a few from my wyldlife group. They began greeting me in a friendly way because of the good affect I had on them, in the good a brought to them. They began talking to the other guys around them telling them not to execute thier friend (me) But as they held me to the ground, a great dispute emerged and there was a sudden riot over if I should live or die, the huge group split at that moment. Then I woke up
My second dream was rather more unusual. For some reason I was living back at mexico in my hometown. I was working for this huge supermarket that actually does exist called "Soriana". I guess I was a bagger boy or something. I was walking to work but unlike my actual memory of my hometown Matamoros, there were more larger buildings like those that you would see in a big city. The buildings were destroyed though, holes were in them. I looked at the school buildings and you could seee walls wide open throughout the multistory building. My city looked like it had gone through a war, every building was severely damaged. But there was allot of traffic and busy streets. I then turned a corner only to see a group of young adult thugs surrounding a car, they were on a street that bordered the beach. Then one of them pulled out a pistol and must of noticed my expression when I saw it. He gave me a menacing look because he knew I was not a part of thier group. The other guys also noticed me and began making threatening gestures, I kept my face straight but with a more serious look. As I turned and began walking on the beaches sidewalk, a man came behind me and pistol whip me in the back of the head. I tumble down the hill but laid there for awhile just so they can get off my back, because I knew exactly what they would do if they saw me get up too fast, they would shoot at me. As I slowly got up I heard gun shots being fired across the other side of the sidewalks then the guys behind me began firing back at them. I knew I needed to get off the cross air or else I too would be shot. It was a fight between two gangs and not long after the police showed up at the scene. The guys behind me began shooting at me thinking that I was part of the opposing gang, the cops shot a few rounds at me thinking I was in one of the two gangs since I was a young adult also. And the other gang shot at me thinking I was of the opposing gang. But the fight strictly held between all three of them . I soon found cover out in the wooden docks of the beach, where I watched this violence fight occurin out near the parking lot of the beach. All three groups seemed to be off my back and some girl about my age was also near the docks watching with me as this was all occuring. We began briefly talking but I couldn't recall our conversation word by word. After awhile I checked the time again, It was getting late I needed to be at work. So I said goodbye to the woman, rushed across the beach taking cover at some points, until I finally made it out of the gunfiring street. I made it to work at the huge supermarket. I woke up right after.
Interesting dreams, sure to have some kind of subconcience symbolism behind it. Both involving work and young adults fighting. If this is a premonition, something unwelcoming is to occur. But its just another dream to me.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Rough Draft part 2
Now I am planning on not just setting up a rough draft but chronologically listing in order( or making a playlist) of all the soundtracks for each fictional written story. I am a strange thinker, I can listen to music and come up with a story. Right now I have several songs that (in my phychotic mind set) stores stories in them. In example:" Muse- Butterflies and Hurricanes", stores scenes from WWR or World War of Religion." Linkin Park- Numb" contains an ending scene for War of the future (must come up with better title), also associates with the Thorner Theory. "Chevelle- Another know it all", is strictly the Thorner theory. Korn's album "Issues" covers all of the Devil's Virus, and some reused for Murset's testimony. This blog maybe just another strict reminder for myself yet again possibly amusing an unexisting audience which only adds on to the phychoticness of my mind. And if you did not understand a single thing in this blog, then I'm sure to find a great future career. So who likes cats?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Departure of Burrito and Musou
To Musou, Jake
It was a great time that me and you shared, we were middle school kids when we met and grew up together.
We wronged each other but always remained friends
We fought along side of each other...in multiplayer online roleplaying games and of course we would always loose
But even after a loss we still chuckeled and laugh our guts off and for many years did we did so.
There was not really ever a second when we were ever bored.
Often we would have fun but eventually stop after something breaks or one of us gets injured.
Such we would play as: Donkey kong toss, dodge the trash can lid, AOL CD fights, Balloon gun fihgts, trampoline fights with many painful items, kick the man in the box, skateboarding, jumping down buildings and etc.
But we both had our own ways, I grew up and graduated from highschool in pursuing college
But you grew older, dropped out and pursuing a low settlement in life.
I chose the bumpy in ridged road, but you chose the easier and carefree one.
I grew paranoid and you teased more about my paranoia
I began gaining an obsession for british rock but became aggrovated by rap
And who would know that you began liking rap but hating british rock
I did things because I would rather be real to myself then a fake
You did things because you wanted the false exceptance, not because it was you
We were bestfriends despite of our growing differences
And now at this split road that both you and me have encountered, I guess its best to say goodbye old pal
I had a great life sharing with you, regardless of how anti-heterosexual that may sound.
But we will still continue to share our obsession with Hagrid of harry potter.
Japanese bands of Buono, Perfume, C-ute, Miki fujimoto, and of course Maki goto.
With asian games that no one likes to play. Creative inventions that may never come to life. And of course Joshes mom who we can't stop talking about even if its infront of Josh.
Its funny that we both met after we witness a boy getting beaten up infront of us, that boy getting beaten up was possibly one of the best things that we are thankful for. But now the Burrito and Musou friendship has come to an end. But please dear pal never forget these words of our own language: Major bedhead, spider sausages, Murloc babies, Muddpuppies, gerbils, shady sailors and squirm squirm squirm.
With love Burrito, Marco
It was a great time that me and you shared, we were middle school kids when we met and grew up together.
We wronged each other but always remained friends
We fought along side of each other...in multiplayer online roleplaying games and of course we would always loose
But even after a loss we still chuckeled and laugh our guts off and for many years did we did so.
There was not really ever a second when we were ever bored.
Often we would have fun but eventually stop after something breaks or one of us gets injured.
Such we would play as: Donkey kong toss, dodge the trash can lid, AOL CD fights, Balloon gun fihgts, trampoline fights with many painful items, kick the man in the box, skateboarding, jumping down buildings and etc.
But we both had our own ways, I grew up and graduated from highschool in pursuing college
But you grew older, dropped out and pursuing a low settlement in life.
I chose the bumpy in ridged road, but you chose the easier and carefree one.
I grew paranoid and you teased more about my paranoia
I began gaining an obsession for british rock but became aggrovated by rap
And who would know that you began liking rap but hating british rock
I did things because I would rather be real to myself then a fake
You did things because you wanted the false exceptance, not because it was you
We were bestfriends despite of our growing differences
And now at this split road that both you and me have encountered, I guess its best to say goodbye old pal
I had a great life sharing with you, regardless of how anti-heterosexual that may sound.
But we will still continue to share our obsession with Hagrid of harry potter.
Japanese bands of Buono, Perfume, C-ute, Miki fujimoto, and of course Maki goto.
With asian games that no one likes to play. Creative inventions that may never come to life. And of course Joshes mom who we can't stop talking about even if its infront of Josh.
Its funny that we both met after we witness a boy getting beaten up infront of us, that boy getting beaten up was possibly one of the best things that we are thankful for. But now the Burrito and Musou friendship has come to an end. But please dear pal never forget these words of our own language: Major bedhead, spider sausages, Murloc babies, Muddpuppies, gerbils, shady sailors and squirm squirm squirm.
With love Burrito, Marco
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Small Fictional Writing rough drafts
This is not really a blog more of just informing myself incase I get out of line. But currently I am working on a few fictional writing peices: Mokier's Lethal Peace, The Broken and the Lightborn, Murset's Testimony, Prophet, and Mak'er (which should go along the lines of Micos Statement). And I'm going to reedit Thorner Theory and War of the Future, hopefully to enhance the vocabulary and plot to make it more suited for readers.
These are current writing projects that I am working on. I guess this blog is simply a reminder to myself and just to inform anyone who may know me.
These are current writing projects that I am working on. I guess this blog is simply a reminder to myself and just to inform anyone who may know me.
Musing about Marriage
"I may now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your yet to come wife"
I hate thinking too ahead of myself...but today I was thinking of my future as a husband. Honestly since I was very young (about 4 years old) it was always something I wanted to be. I mean the idea of being a husband and committed into a marriage with my wife was not scarey idea but rather something I love to imagine. But what did scare me was who the wife was going to be. Strange isn't it? A guy thinking these thoughts, but apparently I was created differently and thats just who I am.
It does scare me and I did have dreams of marrying the wrong woman. I remember a rather clear dream of where I had woken up to a new day only to realize it was my wedding day. We were at the church and I was dressed in my tux and everybody in my family was there to watch including the family of the bride (in this dream it my ex from long ago) As I waited at the alter, the "Bride's march" music began playing by an orchestra. I was excited and happy I then get a whisper in my ear, the man told me that my bride was nowhere to be found and had most likely ran away. Still the reception was held at my fathers old house and both of our family was there in disappointed and as they continued saying thier sorrys I sat there broken hearted and felt abandoned. After that all I remember was me eventually getting drunk and passing out. So as you may see I fear rejection.
My other dream was different. It was my wedding day and I was miserable, we shared our vowels at an alter of flaming burning hell. I really did not want to marry this bride and attempted to run away several times. But some how I was stuck and couldn't runaway from the alter. I said my vowels falsely and attending the reception which was held alongside of a lake. I was still miserable and knew I had made a huge mistake. As an attempt to drown out these thoughts I eventually consumed large amounts of alchohol and eventually said a bit too much about the bride. Some vulgure statements, and a few truthful remarks. lol All I remember was that I was being chased by my new in laws, I was running and laughing. Then a whole bunch of unrelated events occured and I woke up soon after. One of my funniest dreams I must say. Mainpoint is that I don't want to marry someone who I know is wrong for me.
Still I am ever so cautious in my choosing or even pursuing of anyone. Also I have but another 40 years of life to look for her. Even if I do not know her yet I still pray for her just as I did when I was younger. Truth is God has someone planned for me (I hope) and who better to trust then a man who knows everything about me. But thats just another thought, I'm still young and have allot to pursue. Its a thought for now but when the wedding day does come, may God be fully in it.
I hate thinking too ahead of myself...but today I was thinking of my future as a husband. Honestly since I was very young (about 4 years old) it was always something I wanted to be. I mean the idea of being a husband and committed into a marriage with my wife was not scarey idea but rather something I love to imagine. But what did scare me was who the wife was going to be. Strange isn't it? A guy thinking these thoughts, but apparently I was created differently and thats just who I am.
It does scare me and I did have dreams of marrying the wrong woman. I remember a rather clear dream of where I had woken up to a new day only to realize it was my wedding day. We were at the church and I was dressed in my tux and everybody in my family was there to watch including the family of the bride (in this dream it my ex from long ago) As I waited at the alter, the "Bride's march" music began playing by an orchestra. I was excited and happy I then get a whisper in my ear, the man told me that my bride was nowhere to be found and had most likely ran away. Still the reception was held at my fathers old house and both of our family was there in disappointed and as they continued saying thier sorrys I sat there broken hearted and felt abandoned. After that all I remember was me eventually getting drunk and passing out. So as you may see I fear rejection.
My other dream was different. It was my wedding day and I was miserable, we shared our vowels at an alter of flaming burning hell. I really did not want to marry this bride and attempted to run away several times. But some how I was stuck and couldn't runaway from the alter. I said my vowels falsely and attending the reception which was held alongside of a lake. I was still miserable and knew I had made a huge mistake. As an attempt to drown out these thoughts I eventually consumed large amounts of alchohol and eventually said a bit too much about the bride. Some vulgure statements, and a few truthful remarks. lol All I remember was that I was being chased by my new in laws, I was running and laughing. Then a whole bunch of unrelated events occured and I woke up soon after. One of my funniest dreams I must say. Mainpoint is that I don't want to marry someone who I know is wrong for me.
Still I am ever so cautious in my choosing or even pursuing of anyone. Also I have but another 40 years of life to look for her. Even if I do not know her yet I still pray for her just as I did when I was younger. Truth is God has someone planned for me (I hope) and who better to trust then a man who knows everything about me. But thats just another thought, I'm still young and have allot to pursue. Its a thought for now but when the wedding day does come, may God be fully in it.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thanksgiving, Christmas and financial problems! Oh my!
Lets just say, things are not going to be smoothgoing anymore.
Today being the awesome day of my pay day, I was happy to see that i made an extra hundred then last week. Setting myself at home about ready to prepare my seafood meal for tonight was not as enjoyable as I had expected....
In quick summary my dad worked for Oasis food company awhile back and was laid off. Then he worked for another company for awhile. And he returned back to Oasis after they decided they wanted him back (almost sounds like a bloody break up story). My mom was working for a great well known company named Lokeed Martin, where she helped in the construction of certain arms. (How did she get the job? I really do not know, apparently she was just honest.) Well after her little dilemia she sort of left the company but without then knowing that she was gone. After her return back to Fl she remained unemployed for 4 months. And recently she is now working for a cleaning company (not as much benefits as Lookeed Martin).
And over June I have been employed with sweetbay as a service clerk/ cashier.
Now getting back to what I was saying. My dad has rescently been laid off again by Oasis, they first offered him a job close by but reducing his pay by $200 after they laid off 6 other managers, then once he got home they told him he was pretty much laid off. So its official that my mom and I are currently the only workers in the household. (shes only making $2 more then me by hour pay) I strongly believe things will get better but it tends to cost a bit of time. So as a result I will have to postpone my trip to my beloved Chi-town and wait another season till I will be able to see its beautifully heavy polluted air, with its overpayed roads and where Construction is an all year season. Also my mother is really aggravated feeling that even my supervisors are taking advantage of me and using my quality work for thier own greed
(something she has always said about my ex girlfriends and expecting her to say also about my future wife) So in order to cover for my dads bills and stuff I must avoid spending and start using my saved up cash to pay for the bills. And in response to this I only say *10 sec sigh* and life goes on. But no matter how tough things seem, or how hard I must push to get through some things I can only end the tough times by my favorite statement that "Life is beautiful". Also I'm going to apply all of this into my scholarship esseys as a way to slowly pay off my $40k college plan =P
ps. But at least I can enjoy my wait time because there is something to look forward to and someone worth chasing.
Today being the awesome day of my pay day, I was happy to see that i made an extra hundred then last week. Setting myself at home about ready to prepare my seafood meal for tonight was not as enjoyable as I had expected....
In quick summary my dad worked for Oasis food company awhile back and was laid off. Then he worked for another company for awhile. And he returned back to Oasis after they decided they wanted him back (almost sounds like a bloody break up story). My mom was working for a great well known company named Lokeed Martin, where she helped in the construction of certain arms. (How did she get the job? I really do not know, apparently she was just honest.) Well after her little dilemia she sort of left the company but without then knowing that she was gone. After her return back to Fl she remained unemployed for 4 months. And recently she is now working for a cleaning company (not as much benefits as Lookeed Martin).
And over June I have been employed with sweetbay as a service clerk/ cashier.
Now getting back to what I was saying. My dad has rescently been laid off again by Oasis, they first offered him a job close by but reducing his pay by $200 after they laid off 6 other managers, then once he got home they told him he was pretty much laid off. So its official that my mom and I are currently the only workers in the household. (shes only making $2 more then me by hour pay) I strongly believe things will get better but it tends to cost a bit of time. So as a result I will have to postpone my trip to my beloved Chi-town and wait another season till I will be able to see its beautifully heavy polluted air, with its overpayed roads and where Construction is an all year season. Also my mother is really aggravated feeling that even my supervisors are taking advantage of me and using my quality work for thier own greed
(something she has always said about my ex girlfriends and expecting her to say also about my future wife) So in order to cover for my dads bills and stuff I must avoid spending and start using my saved up cash to pay for the bills. And in response to this I only say *10 sec sigh* and life goes on. But no matter how tough things seem, or how hard I must push to get through some things I can only end the tough times by my favorite statement that "Life is beautiful". Also I'm going to apply all of this into my scholarship esseys as a way to slowly pay off my $40k college plan =P
ps. But at least I can enjoy my wait time because there is something to look forward to and someone worth chasing.
Key to human survival
Lately during my boring weekday workdays I have been spending sometime actually watching tv. All that I have been seeing is constant documentaries about how the world is going to end and pretty much all this 2012 stuff. It seems interesting and so I continued to watch it, but it wasn't until half way into the documentary did I realize the most obvious thing; these people over exagerate too much.
Now please understand me from my perspective as once living as a poor young boy in a poor nation. Where people who are born poor tend to always die poor. I came from a really ragged edge background and have lived a really rogh life despite it not feeling so. In one documentary it had mentioned that there will be a huge black out across the world. Saying that many would die and be devastated...my first thought was "I already went through that and I'm still alive" Heck 45% of the people are still alive without the dependancy of electricity (the other55% have electricity not dead). And people who live north of here would surely die without the dependancy of electricity in powering heaters. May I say again I have went through this *cough* firewood *cough* blankets and more blankets. In fact eskemos live this type of lifestyle through out thier entire lifetime and I'm sure there is a good number of them alive. And then the third argument that without electricity there would be a problem with food. *sigh* All I can say is "farmers", they grow thier food, they raise lifestock, and if you were to ask them "if they wanted to go shopping at walmart?" they would most likely repond saying "What type of walls do they sell? Dry walls? wooden?" If the planet were to experience a major black out, we already possess the ability to replace it esp seeing as we have many alternative power supplies such as: solar power, wind power, thermal power, even steam powered (for old school).
Main point is that we can survive without electricty and many other things. We would eventually learn to adapt and survive without the dependancy of such things. The less materialistic you are the better chances of survival, the less of a dependancy you have towards anything the more you should know in surviving. Me and my family we are survival of what these people call "devastating events" we have made it from the thin walls of chilly freezy nights, we have faced a lack of food supply for common weeks, we have lived months without electricity but yet we live and better understand what really matters in life. And in a way I guess I could thank my mom for showing me all of that, for showing me where I came from and that everything doesn't really matter. Most of all she has proved to be the greatest survivor I have ever known in changing my life at the face of death and bringing us a future that will bring hope in not dying poor but happy. Also I know how the world is going to end, our sunday school has been studying it the last 7 weeks. So I really have nothing to worry about if the end times come, not only do I know what will happen but that knowledge will not really matter once it does occur because most likely I will not be here. Most importantly God is always in control of everything. I have nothing to fear
So in closing the key to human survival is to not be strongly dependant on anything and to constantly see lifes greatest obstacles as a bumpy trip.
Now please understand me from my perspective as once living as a poor young boy in a poor nation. Where people who are born poor tend to always die poor. I came from a really ragged edge background and have lived a really rogh life despite it not feeling so. In one documentary it had mentioned that there will be a huge black out across the world. Saying that many would die and be devastated...my first thought was "I already went through that and I'm still alive" Heck 45% of the people are still alive without the dependancy of electricity (the other55% have electricity not dead). And people who live north of here would surely die without the dependancy of electricity in powering heaters. May I say again I have went through this *cough* firewood *cough* blankets and more blankets. In fact eskemos live this type of lifestyle through out thier entire lifetime and I'm sure there is a good number of them alive. And then the third argument that without electricity there would be a problem with food. *sigh* All I can say is "farmers", they grow thier food, they raise lifestock, and if you were to ask them "if they wanted to go shopping at walmart?" they would most likely repond saying "What type of walls do they sell? Dry walls? wooden?" If the planet were to experience a major black out, we already possess the ability to replace it esp seeing as we have many alternative power supplies such as: solar power, wind power, thermal power, even steam powered (for old school).
Main point is that we can survive without electricty and many other things. We would eventually learn to adapt and survive without the dependancy of such things. The less materialistic you are the better chances of survival, the less of a dependancy you have towards anything the more you should know in surviving. Me and my family we are survival of what these people call "devastating events" we have made it from the thin walls of chilly freezy nights, we have faced a lack of food supply for common weeks, we have lived months without electricity but yet we live and better understand what really matters in life. And in a way I guess I could thank my mom for showing me all of that, for showing me where I came from and that everything doesn't really matter. Most of all she has proved to be the greatest survivor I have ever known in changing my life at the face of death and bringing us a future that will bring hope in not dying poor but happy. Also I know how the world is going to end, our sunday school has been studying it the last 7 weeks. So I really have nothing to worry about if the end times come, not only do I know what will happen but that knowledge will not really matter once it does occur because most likely I will not be here. Most importantly God is always in control of everything. I have nothing to fear
So in closing the key to human survival is to not be strongly dependant on anything and to constantly see lifes greatest obstacles as a bumpy trip.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Journey to retrieving the magical modem
To summarize it I busted the modem into peices in an attempt to fix its connection problem. I then fix the device to working as it did before using nothing but nail clippers, a pokey thing, and duct tape. But then it failed me yet again so I attempt by messing with the inside parts, but while attempting to do so I broke another part yet again and this time it was broken for good.
After 40 minutes of speaking to lovely loathing technicians across the phone I was then instructed to go to a far out land to a Brighthouse store nearby. Which would be near west linebaugh ave. I then gave him my thanks and gave him full 5 on his survey with no comments.
My jounrney begun from my house at 11:00am. I grabbed my broken modem and headed to Busch blvd to Gunnhwy. I walked 3 miles till a reached a bus stop, then rode less then a mile to linebaugh. Then I walked 3 miles west linebaugh until I finally reached a brighthouse store. Where I then spoke to a desk clerk and swapped it in under a minute then headed back to linebaugh and waited yet again for the bus.
...and then went to Citrus, ate food, paid for movie ticket, walked more, walked some more, and bought Muse new album The Resistence. And then watched 2012.
I guess none of the ending stuff really matter but main point, I got home at 6:20pm. And I think I got enough of a workout for a week and will think twice before destroying another device.
Nevermind in fact I really don't think the main point matters I just felt like writing a fail blog
After 40 minutes of speaking to lovely loathing technicians across the phone I was then instructed to go to a far out land to a Brighthouse store nearby. Which would be near west linebaugh ave. I then gave him my thanks and gave him full 5 on his survey with no comments.
My jounrney begun from my house at 11:00am. I grabbed my broken modem and headed to Busch blvd to Gunnhwy. I walked 3 miles till a reached a bus stop, then rode less then a mile to linebaugh. Then I walked 3 miles west linebaugh until I finally reached a brighthouse store. Where I then spoke to a desk clerk and swapped it in under a minute then headed back to linebaugh and waited yet again for the bus.
...and then went to Citrus, ate food, paid for movie ticket, walked more, walked some more, and bought Muse new album The Resistence. And then watched 2012.
I guess none of the ending stuff really matter but main point, I got home at 6:20pm. And I think I got enough of a workout for a week and will think twice before destroying another device.
Nevermind in fact I really don't think the main point matters I just felt like writing a fail blog
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A good man's apology letter
To all the good girls who strongly dislike me
I'm going to write an apology letter to you all :
I'm sorry if I like to say "You look really nice today" and actually mean it
I'm sorry if during a date I don't mind paying for your food and/or movie ticket
I'm sorry if I have a sense of humor and that I like to laugh
I'm sorry if I have good hygiene and actually take a bath
I'm sorry if I provide you with my own jacket when your feeling cold
I'm sorry if I have a heart that is both strong and bold
I'm sorry if I pick up the phone regardless of what time it may be
I'm sorry if I like to put you ahead of most things even me
I'm sorry if I see the importance of your emotional needs
I'm sorry if I don't hurt your heart in letting it bleed
I'm sorry if I tend to help cheer you up after a bad day
I'm sorry if I mean everything that I say
I'm sorry if when you speak I actually listen and acknoledge your there
I'm sorry if during those moments I'm not daydreaming of you in your underwear
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I am just too "good" of a boy to be accepted by you
If I respect you as a woman should be, I'm so sorry...but thats just me
I'm also sorry that I don't drink, smoke or do drugs
but instead have a good general self-care and an addict hugs
I'm sorry that I don't use more curse words then I do your name
I'm sorry that I don't consider every relationship as just another game
I'm sorry that I don't see you as an obejct but an actual human being
I'm sorry that I'm not a self centered man/or self tryant king
I'm sorry that I'm actually wanting to be successful in my distant future
I'm so sorry I'm not unloyal, heartless or immature
I'm a kind and patient fellow, I just can't control myself
Being nice and considerate, I feel like a monster please forgive me
And having a brain, wow I'm a freak
But I'm not sorry in who I am
So again may I say I'm sorry my dear,
But your opinion does not affect me nor does it shed a tear
Self aware and confident in myself...something that will not change
Sincerely, a good man without a name
I'm going to write an apology letter to you all :
I'm sorry if I like to say "You look really nice today" and actually mean it
I'm sorry if during a date I don't mind paying for your food and/or movie ticket
I'm sorry if I have a sense of humor and that I like to laugh
I'm sorry if I have good hygiene and actually take a bath
I'm sorry if I provide you with my own jacket when your feeling cold
I'm sorry if I have a heart that is both strong and bold
I'm sorry if I pick up the phone regardless of what time it may be
I'm sorry if I like to put you ahead of most things even me
I'm sorry if I see the importance of your emotional needs
I'm sorry if I don't hurt your heart in letting it bleed
I'm sorry if I tend to help cheer you up after a bad day
I'm sorry if I mean everything that I say
I'm sorry if when you speak I actually listen and acknoledge your there
I'm sorry if during those moments I'm not daydreaming of you in your underwear
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I am just too "good" of a boy to be accepted by you
If I respect you as a woman should be, I'm so sorry...but thats just me
I'm also sorry that I don't drink, smoke or do drugs
but instead have a good general self-care and an addict hugs
I'm sorry that I don't use more curse words then I do your name
I'm sorry that I don't consider every relationship as just another game
I'm sorry that I don't see you as an obejct but an actual human being
I'm sorry that I'm not a self centered man/or self tryant king
I'm sorry that I'm actually wanting to be successful in my distant future
I'm so sorry I'm not unloyal, heartless or immature
I'm a kind and patient fellow, I just can't control myself
Being nice and considerate, I feel like a monster please forgive me
And having a brain, wow I'm a freak
But I'm not sorry in who I am
So again may I say I'm sorry my dear,
But your opinion does not affect me nor does it shed a tear
Self aware and confident in myself...something that will not change
Sincerely, a good man without a name
Monday, November 9, 2009
Worse public bus experience...ever. Based upon true events
Today started off with tear shed and eye gouging. As I walked to the bus station looking forward to a long day of work I had suddenly saw the Bus 1 pass by 9 minutes early which meant I would most likely be arriving late for work. But that didn't bother me too much I still had a day to get through, so I breathed in deeply and exhaled. When my bus finally arrived it was 11:51am (I was suppose to be at work by 12:00am) I was hoping just to be 5 minutes late to the most but not bad enough that my managers would scold me for it. But just when I thought being late would be bad my bus trip got so much worse.
Upon arriving on the next stop, a crippled man sat down in the front seats then two black women got on the bus with a baby, the first black woman appeared a bit older and was the mother of the child. The second woman...well lets just say "Big" was an understatement. She looked like she was about 300lbs if not the late 200s. She had the facial structure of a bull dog and the body of a walrus, she wore a medium size t-shirt that was 3 times too small. And she clearly did not understand the purpose of a belt. The baby was inside a carriage with bags of Burger King meals on top of her. The older lady was walking the aisles in which she continually bumped the baby holder several times against the seats until finally settling in a row of seats across from me. But then the second woman arrived yelling "Dam they so rude!" across the bus in reference to the bus driver and crippeled man. Despite there being other available seats around the bus, she decided sitting next to me would be best. But then it happened, as I was sitting facing forward, she sat down with her backside facing me leaving squished against the window and in an akward position. May I mention again this women did NOT wear a belt, as a consequence half of her butt hung out from her pants. So in a way she was sitting on me! And I tried the hardest possible to keep a straight face (I wanted to gag so badly). The woman then pulls out her Bk meal and began munching on fries while talking to her friend. I continued to keep quiet as I started breathing through from my mouth not daring to smell the foul odor that reeked from the brown fjord/crack.
Hoping this bus trip will get soon to my destination it did anything but lighten up. Our bus driver picked up a bum who was really attatched to his cart full of trash. Then a mother with her children also entered the bus, along with another family who also had children . A little girl from one of the family sat infront of us and she watched this walrusbeing munching on her meal. The little girl reached out as though to beg for some fries only to be encountered with a snarl from thebeast and also a scolding from her mother as she then said "You can eat at home".
As we continued going down Florida avenue our bus begins filling up more and more people even mexicans in a carpools were laughing at us (I would know). I realize then"I am going to be so late". Being stuck in such an akward situation made me wish that some random gunman would enter our bus and shoot me at point blank range in my head for no reason. As I was texting my friends begging that one of them may possibly have a cyenide pill. I see from the corners of my eyes this women drawing closer to my phone attempting to peep at my message. In attempt to hide it I rotate the screen slowly torwards me...success!
Finally it was time for me to get off. My heart began to fill with joy, and my tears were drying up as I danced off the bus with a big smile that God had finally spared little shed of light of mercy on me...(but not really because the bus didn't stop until a block later). I jumped out the bus and dance my way to work until I realized I was now 12minutes late.. Though I was dramatized with an unexpected lapdance by a 300lb woman, and though a cried a little as a was being violated unententionally, I can still say after such a horrible experience...that life is beautiful. And also God has a sense of humor because this could only happen to the goodguys.
by Marco
Upon arriving on the next stop, a crippled man sat down in the front seats then two black women got on the bus with a baby, the first black woman appeared a bit older and was the mother of the child. The second woman...well lets just say "Big" was an understatement. She looked like she was about 300lbs if not the late 200s. She had the facial structure of a bull dog and the body of a walrus, she wore a medium size t-shirt that was 3 times too small. And she clearly did not understand the purpose of a belt. The baby was inside a carriage with bags of Burger King meals on top of her. The older lady was walking the aisles in which she continually bumped the baby holder several times against the seats until finally settling in a row of seats across from me. But then the second woman arrived yelling "Dam they so rude!" across the bus in reference to the bus driver and crippeled man. Despite there being other available seats around the bus, she decided sitting next to me would be best. But then it happened, as I was sitting facing forward, she sat down with her backside facing me leaving squished against the window and in an akward position. May I mention again this women did NOT wear a belt, as a consequence half of her butt hung out from her pants. So in a way she was sitting on me! And I tried the hardest possible to keep a straight face (I wanted to gag so badly). The woman then pulls out her Bk meal and began munching on fries while talking to her friend. I continued to keep quiet as I started breathing through from my mouth not daring to smell the foul odor that reeked from the brown fjord/crack.
Hoping this bus trip will get soon to my destination it did anything but lighten up. Our bus driver picked up a bum who was really attatched to his cart full of trash. Then a mother with her children also entered the bus, along with another family who also had children . A little girl from one of the family sat infront of us and she watched this walrusbeing munching on her meal. The little girl reached out as though to beg for some fries only to be encountered with a snarl from thebeast and also a scolding from her mother as she then said "You can eat at home".
As we continued going down Florida avenue our bus begins filling up more and more people even mexicans in a carpools were laughing at us (I would know). I realize then"I am going to be so late". Being stuck in such an akward situation made me wish that some random gunman would enter our bus and shoot me at point blank range in my head for no reason. As I was texting my friends begging that one of them may possibly have a cyenide pill. I see from the corners of my eyes this women drawing closer to my phone attempting to peep at my message. In attempt to hide it I rotate the screen slowly torwards me...success!
Finally it was time for me to get off. My heart began to fill with joy, and my tears were drying up as I danced off the bus with a big smile that God had finally spared little shed of light of mercy on me...(but not really because the bus didn't stop until a block later). I jumped out the bus and dance my way to work until I realized I was now 12minutes late.. Though I was dramatized with an unexpected lapdance by a 300lb woman, and though a cried a little as a was being violated unententionally, I can still say after such a horrible experience...that life is beautiful. And also God has a sense of humor because this could only happen to the goodguys.
by Marco
Monday, October 26, 2009
When I fall down
I wrote this way long ago when I was a sophmore at chamberlain highschool. It was read on stage for our annual Poetry contest. I was nervous and must say it was perhaps the most bible thumper peice I have ever done. But in truth it was greatly inspired by God. And at my most hardest time I had realized the truth about Jesus...
"When I Fall Down"
When I fall I lost it all
Pain that I'm feeling
Pain that I'm put into shame
When I fall I hit the floor
Face to the pavement
Face the facts that I've lost
Feeling so helpless
Feeling so tired
Feeling so left out
That no one is going to help me up
Giving in slowly
Falling in faster
Such a disaster has slowly took my life
No one besides me
Everyone gone
Dying so slowly how could this happen
Who could of knew I would be laid out to waste
If only they knew, in this lost and lonely place
Where I had laid my face to weep
No one dares pick me up
But walked away
From me which burdens laid me down
But left astray
No one cares of leaving me this way
No one cares, who cares, who will, what face
Puddles of tears I've wept
People I cared had left
No one around me
I will never be found here
Lost in anxiety weeping and crying that I have fallen
I never noticed at that time and place
There was a hand with a hole in its palm
Reaching over me wanting me to grab hold
Then I heard a gentle voice say
"Arise I've heard your cries"
In such a surprise
Jesus Stood next to me before my eyes
Placing his nailed scar hand for me to grab
I then wept with joy and teared filled eyes
He was always by my side
Then he told me "I will niether leave you, nor forsake you"
And there was a time that he had faced the pain
When he was in Calvary
He had carried a cross
A cross of the burdens and sins of mankind
In which he suffered to release us from pain
I stood there with teared filled eyes
When I fall He always picks me up
Jesus my Savior
Jesus my creator
Never had left me
And never forsake me
Suffered our burdens
Sufered our pain times
Never had left
Stood over besides me and wept with me in pain times
He knows our needs
He knows our darkest paths
I will never be lonely
Never again to say it
Christ will be there when I fall
Never be lonely again
Never be burdened again
He never forgot me and never turned away from me
Always besides me with a hole in His palm
Reaching over for me to grab
My Redeemer, My Savior, My Lord, My Christ
Promises I will send to you
Promises of your Holiness
I will always worship you
I will never turn away from you
I will never walk away from you
Always in my mind
You are all that matter, My master, my greatest life
I will always love you, always praise you
You can turn the worst day
Into the greatest day
I love you Lord
And if I must I would die for your name
Just so I can my persecuters, how much I love you
And show them how far Christian love really goes
Lord when I'm in my darkest days
When they turn away, feeling so tired, feeling so disgraceful
When I hit the floor, Lord
I will weep my cry and weep my eyes out
But not because of them, Lord
But because of you
At the end of it all it will be you and me
Always besides me, Never forgotten me
My Redeemer, My savior
The hand that will always pick me up
When I fall down He will always pick me up
by Marco Antonio Oviedo
written October of 2006
"When I Fall Down"
When I fall I lost it all
Pain that I'm feeling
Pain that I'm put into shame
When I fall I hit the floor
Face to the pavement
Face the facts that I've lost
Feeling so helpless
Feeling so tired
Feeling so left out
That no one is going to help me up
Giving in slowly
Falling in faster
Such a disaster has slowly took my life
No one besides me
Everyone gone
Dying so slowly how could this happen
Who could of knew I would be laid out to waste
If only they knew, in this lost and lonely place
Where I had laid my face to weep
No one dares pick me up
But walked away
From me which burdens laid me down
But left astray
No one cares of leaving me this way
No one cares, who cares, who will, what face
Puddles of tears I've wept
People I cared had left
No one around me
I will never be found here
Lost in anxiety weeping and crying that I have fallen
I never noticed at that time and place
There was a hand with a hole in its palm
Reaching over me wanting me to grab hold
Then I heard a gentle voice say
"Arise I've heard your cries"
In such a surprise
Jesus Stood next to me before my eyes
Placing his nailed scar hand for me to grab
I then wept with joy and teared filled eyes
He was always by my side
Then he told me "I will niether leave you, nor forsake you"
And there was a time that he had faced the pain
When he was in Calvary
He had carried a cross
A cross of the burdens and sins of mankind
In which he suffered to release us from pain
I stood there with teared filled eyes
When I fall He always picks me up
Jesus my Savior
Jesus my creator
Never had left me
And never forsake me
Suffered our burdens
Sufered our pain times
Never had left
Stood over besides me and wept with me in pain times
He knows our needs
He knows our darkest paths
I will never be lonely
Never again to say it
Christ will be there when I fall
Never be lonely again
Never be burdened again
He never forgot me and never turned away from me
Always besides me with a hole in His palm
Reaching over for me to grab
My Redeemer, My Savior, My Lord, My Christ
Promises I will send to you
Promises of your Holiness
I will always worship you
I will never turn away from you
I will never walk away from you
Always in my mind
You are all that matter, My master, my greatest life
I will always love you, always praise you
You can turn the worst day
Into the greatest day
I love you Lord
And if I must I would die for your name
Just so I can my persecuters, how much I love you
And show them how far Christian love really goes
Lord when I'm in my darkest days
When they turn away, feeling so tired, feeling so disgraceful
When I hit the floor, Lord
I will weep my cry and weep my eyes out
But not because of them, Lord
But because of you
At the end of it all it will be you and me
Always besides me, Never forgotten me
My Redeemer, My savior
The hand that will always pick me up
When I fall down He will always pick me up
by Marco Antonio Oviedo
written October of 2006
The Tragedy of the Lover
I wrote this many months ago in December of 2008, thought it would be nice to share
The Tragedy of the Lover
My eyes they interlock
Sweet and sweet meoldies I hear
And grasping hold of that, that of which I want
But I know the truth and I am sad
I know the Truth but yet I want it so bad
Those lips that I've nevered kiss
Oh how right it would be
But how misfortunate it will end
I love her with a passionate heart
I in desparate hunger, heart hungry for that love
See I can be your Prince Charming
I have already rescued you from many fires
I have challenged the dragons
And still I seek to kill them
But you do not see
You do not hear
You have not understood
What is burried in my heart
When I say I want you.
I may be perfect for you
But I wonder if thats still going to make it true
Will my firey passion be too hot and burn you
Or will the pain of me being struck be too cold
To leave you standing as a brick of ice
My secretly beloved I have never fully gotten you
We've touched....just slightly
Perhaps the first of my loves
That I have ever touched oh so ever passionately
But I've never felt your touch
I have never felt your heart
I have never read poetry truly intended for me
But yet you speak words that directs all aim to me
The guy your looking for, Its me
But you never meant it to be for me
I am your nothingless, nothing more
Now my hearts on fire as I read your words
It burns in me and my gentleness fades
Because theres a compromise in me
If I should?
But my eyes lashes out
My skin becomes of thick scales and leathery
My mouth breathes out fire ready to consume
My prickly sharp teeth ready to devour
And my heart has not melted
No!! It has become harden thick iced
I am now the enraged dragon greatly in pain
That I will never be your Prince Charming
You will never see me like you see him
See you have chosen the wrong person to be your Prince
Hes corrupt, hes underserving, hes after something else...his kingdom
Hes never going to take you as his Queen but as a servant
He will never love you as I have
He will never hold you close as I have
I love you but yet your letting me die?
Your corrupt Prince Charming is ready to kill me
With a sword poisioned by his filth
With armor stained from innocent blood
Wearing his helmet covering up his damnation
And with a smirk in his face knowing that hes killing the only person that knows
Who he really is.
But before I die, before our great battle, before he sinks blade into me
Or before I escape in flight not to return again
I just want to speak these last words, my prophesy, my predictions
"By the time you discover your biggest mistake, its going to be too late,
you will look and look but its your unseen treasure will be gone "
We fought, fought we rage, I wanted to stop him but he wanted the glory
I'm the victim but everyone believes I am the suspect
I only wanted to protect her I only want to demostrate more of how much I loved her
But she has eyes for someone else
She will throw me away and has done so before
But I love her and we fight and fight to prove so
She will never realized just how much I cared
And what she wants to keep is someone less loyal then me
As I begin feeling the pressure of defeat
As I feel the poision sinking into my blood
Breaking me, slowing me down
I become tired and weary, my heart does not melt
No Its still cold but now hurt
I loved her
As I fly away weary of knowin I stand no chance
I realize shes not worth it, shes too blind
And so I fly to somewhere looking for someone to see me
As thier Prince Charming and not the Dragon
While the Prince glorifies in his victory
I have gained victory in accepting the defeat
But now miles away, flying in the stars
Looking to place myself in a higher position while th earth rots
But there she stands speaking the words..
She had once felt breathless at the corrupt Prince because she thought she loved him
But now shes breathless for another reason
"He'll be mine" she says
But in truth shes breathless because she has discovered the truth
Shes traded her most beloved friend, her great companion
that had stood by and loved her
Who had done all for her just because he cared
Who treated her as a queen while having the heart of a servant
He loved her, she made him into the dragon but still he continued to of loved her
He traded her loving friend for a corrupted Prince
And for the rest of her life she will live with the corrupt prince
The rest of her life she will be full of burdens knowing that shes left her true love go away
Because she was too stupid to realize that her true love was next to her all along
Shes going to live her life full of tears, her man who will never feel love
No matter what she does for him or how much she loves the Prince
He will never love her, and she will soon understand how the dragon felt
Hes gone the dragon is gone, and she can only see him every few nights in the night sky
The dragon is so high up that even the stars have made an image of him
for the world to see....but he no longer loves her
by Marco Antonio de Oviedo
written December of 2008
The Tragedy of the Lover
My eyes they interlock
Sweet and sweet meoldies I hear
And grasping hold of that, that of which I want
But I know the truth and I am sad
I know the Truth but yet I want it so bad
Those lips that I've nevered kiss
Oh how right it would be
But how misfortunate it will end
I love her with a passionate heart
I in desparate hunger, heart hungry for that love
See I can be your Prince Charming
I have already rescued you from many fires
I have challenged the dragons
And still I seek to kill them
But you do not see
You do not hear
You have not understood
What is burried in my heart
When I say I want you.
I may be perfect for you
But I wonder if thats still going to make it true
Will my firey passion be too hot and burn you
Or will the pain of me being struck be too cold
To leave you standing as a brick of ice
My secretly beloved I have never fully gotten you
We've touched....just slightly
Perhaps the first of my loves
That I have ever touched oh so ever passionately
But I've never felt your touch
I have never felt your heart
I have never read poetry truly intended for me
But yet you speak words that directs all aim to me
The guy your looking for, Its me
But you never meant it to be for me
I am your nothingless, nothing more
Now my hearts on fire as I read your words
It burns in me and my gentleness fades
Because theres a compromise in me
If I should?
But my eyes lashes out
My skin becomes of thick scales and leathery
My mouth breathes out fire ready to consume
My prickly sharp teeth ready to devour
And my heart has not melted
No!! It has become harden thick iced
I am now the enraged dragon greatly in pain
That I will never be your Prince Charming
You will never see me like you see him
See you have chosen the wrong person to be your Prince
Hes corrupt, hes underserving, hes after something else...his kingdom
Hes never going to take you as his Queen but as a servant
He will never love you as I have
He will never hold you close as I have
I love you but yet your letting me die?
Your corrupt Prince Charming is ready to kill me
With a sword poisioned by his filth
With armor stained from innocent blood
Wearing his helmet covering up his damnation
And with a smirk in his face knowing that hes killing the only person that knows
Who he really is.
But before I die, before our great battle, before he sinks blade into me
Or before I escape in flight not to return again
I just want to speak these last words, my prophesy, my predictions
"By the time you discover your biggest mistake, its going to be too late,
you will look and look but its your unseen treasure will be gone "
We fought, fought we rage, I wanted to stop him but he wanted the glory
I'm the victim but everyone believes I am the suspect
I only wanted to protect her I only want to demostrate more of how much I loved her
But she has eyes for someone else
She will throw me away and has done so before
But I love her and we fight and fight to prove so
She will never realized just how much I cared
And what she wants to keep is someone less loyal then me
As I begin feeling the pressure of defeat
As I feel the poision sinking into my blood
Breaking me, slowing me down
I become tired and weary, my heart does not melt
No Its still cold but now hurt
I loved her
As I fly away weary of knowin I stand no chance
I realize shes not worth it, shes too blind
And so I fly to somewhere looking for someone to see me
As thier Prince Charming and not the Dragon
While the Prince glorifies in his victory
I have gained victory in accepting the defeat
But now miles away, flying in the stars
Looking to place myself in a higher position while th earth rots
But there she stands speaking the words..
She had once felt breathless at the corrupt Prince because she thought she loved him
But now shes breathless for another reason
"He'll be mine" she says
But in truth shes breathless because she has discovered the truth
Shes traded her most beloved friend, her great companion
that had stood by and loved her
Who had done all for her just because he cared
Who treated her as a queen while having the heart of a servant
He loved her, she made him into the dragon but still he continued to of loved her
He traded her loving friend for a corrupted Prince
And for the rest of her life she will live with the corrupt prince
The rest of her life she will be full of burdens knowing that shes left her true love go away
Because she was too stupid to realize that her true love was next to her all along
Shes going to live her life full of tears, her man who will never feel love
No matter what she does for him or how much she loves the Prince
He will never love her, and she will soon understand how the dragon felt
Hes gone the dragon is gone, and she can only see him every few nights in the night sky
The dragon is so high up that even the stars have made an image of him
for the world to see....but he no longer loves her
by Marco Antonio de Oviedo
written December of 2008
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Rewarding experience of a service clerk
I've been working for a few months as a service clerk (or bagger boy). I can say honestly love it. Just like thier statement it is in fact a rewarding job but just as equally it can also be unrewarding. So I'm here to make a statement separating the two.
Its rewarding in that I get to work in a great enviroment; colorful store, well neatly maintained, etc.
Its unrewarding in that sometimes the work enviroment changes to a pushing carts in a parking lot in the afternoon while its 103 degrees outside. But at least I'm getting somewhat of a tan out of it.
Its rewarding in that I get to interact face to face with customers. While providing great customer care.
Its unrewarding that sometimes the face to face contact could be from customers who publicly hate you with a passion. But in a situation such as that, just smile brightly and say "Goodmorning!"
Its rewarding that once in awhile I get tipped by very persistant customers who feel like my labor was to be rewarded
Its unrewarding in that 40% of the time I can barely even get a thank you.
Its rewarding in that I get to see the friendly faces of smiling customers.
Its unrewarding in that I have to face the veiny red faced customers who are upset because the world apparently doesn't revolve around them.
Its rewarding in that I get benefits from working there. Such as vacation, medicare, discounts and more.
Its unrewarding in that I may not see some of those benefits until years later after working there.
Its rewarding in that I have great managers who know how to run the place and straighten it up.
Its unrewarding in that those managers also know how to make a man work....hard!
Its rewarding that my work days are not constantly in a routine. And that everyday is a different story
Its unrewarding in the sense that any plans made will be disrupted due to unpredicatable hours.
Its rewarding that I get to do some labor work and get somewhat of a good work out from it
Its unrewarding that I have to come home and take out the trash after just getting done taking the trash out for an entire supermarket
Its rewarding that I do not have to trim my hair short.
Its unrewarding that I often get mistaken for a girl because of lengthy hair.
Its rewarding that we get to work strongly as a team.
Its unrewarding that if that team is not presence it will mess up everything.
Its unrewarding that I have to put up with cutomers driving 40 mph in a parkinglot while I push carts.
in that I tend to question how many customers have full functioning brain cells
in that cleaning toilets becomes a mystery of "what were they thinking" Or a game of who can
actually make it in the bowl.
in that I have to put up with over stuffed trash cans that mostly consists of fastfoods leftovers.
in that I am now able to separate the sane from insane simply by looking at thier order.
in that working on holidays is a must esp if it involves gatherings, food, and celebrations all at
once. Which is pretty much all of them.
But overall its rewarding when you experience the end of your shift. Clock out, remove name tag, loosen shirt and head home. Its almost a taste of the American dream.
...but its unrewarding in that moment of peace staring at the wonderful urban night sky that you then realize-you have to be back at work in less then 7 hours. Life is simply beautiful in those moments.
Its rewarding in that I get to work in a great enviroment; colorful store, well neatly maintained, etc.
Its unrewarding in that sometimes the work enviroment changes to a pushing carts in a parking lot in the afternoon while its 103 degrees outside. But at least I'm getting somewhat of a tan out of it.
Its rewarding in that I get to interact face to face with customers. While providing great customer care.
Its unrewarding that sometimes the face to face contact could be from customers who publicly hate you with a passion. But in a situation such as that, just smile brightly and say "Goodmorning!"
Its rewarding that once in awhile I get tipped by very persistant customers who feel like my labor was to be rewarded
Its unrewarding in that 40% of the time I can barely even get a thank you.
Its rewarding in that I get to see the friendly faces of smiling customers.
Its unrewarding in that I have to face the veiny red faced customers who are upset because the world apparently doesn't revolve around them.
Its rewarding in that I get benefits from working there. Such as vacation, medicare, discounts and more.
Its unrewarding in that I may not see some of those benefits until years later after working there.
Its rewarding in that I have great managers who know how to run the place and straighten it up.
Its unrewarding in that those managers also know how to make a man work....hard!
Its rewarding that my work days are not constantly in a routine. And that everyday is a different story
Its unrewarding in the sense that any plans made will be disrupted due to unpredicatable hours.
Its rewarding that I get to do some labor work and get somewhat of a good work out from it
Its unrewarding that I have to come home and take out the trash after just getting done taking the trash out for an entire supermarket
Its rewarding that I do not have to trim my hair short.
Its unrewarding that I often get mistaken for a girl because of lengthy hair.
Its rewarding that we get to work strongly as a team.
Its unrewarding that if that team is not presence it will mess up everything.
Its unrewarding that I have to put up with cutomers driving 40 mph in a parkinglot while I push carts.
in that I tend to question how many customers have full functioning brain cells
in that cleaning toilets becomes a mystery of "what were they thinking" Or a game of who can
actually make it in the bowl.
in that I have to put up with over stuffed trash cans that mostly consists of fastfoods leftovers.
in that I am now able to separate the sane from insane simply by looking at thier order.
in that working on holidays is a must esp if it involves gatherings, food, and celebrations all at
once. Which is pretty much all of them.
But overall its rewarding when you experience the end of your shift. Clock out, remove name tag, loosen shirt and head home. Its almost a taste of the American dream.
...but its unrewarding in that moment of peace staring at the wonderful urban night sky that you then realize-you have to be back at work in less then 7 hours. Life is simply beautiful in those moments.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Intro of the Murky ways
To everything in life there is a beginning...in this case to this new website and blog. I thought it was neat and its sort of something I do often, well that is blogging.
To describe myself I am kind hearted genuinely (meaning that most of my intentions in life is for the good of goodness) though I tend to do things in a not so good manner but the result is almost always good.
I love the truth, I pratically celebrate it every day. And as a result I am pretty hated if not strongly dislike by people for doing so. I mean I personally would rather take a swift brutal truth to the face then a bloody overworded and edumacated(lol) lie. Its just who I am.
I also tend to be brutal in telling the truth, meaning that I can be very cut throat in making statements that I belive are true.
I am very surreal in the things I do and the things that come to mind. Distorting something as simple as a scenery involving a tree into an all out war of woodland critters claiming land.
(I swear I am sane...I think) I don't do this to express rage or secretly inner frustation but to entertain myself. I'm not pyhchologically derranged or unstable I'm just creative in a really crude way.
I am a complicated man in that I often make 2+2 seem like a trigometry equation. I guess simple things annoy me even if its within my level of understanding. Or that I enjoy a challenge.
I aknowledge that my creator so whenever I make statements like "When I was created I was not built with..." it is therefore of statement of the monotheistic God whose Son saved us in taking the backslashes we deserved. And I really don't care about what people say about God. whether its his existance or Christ's divinity or any made up conspiracy that dare morphs what He is. I will say it only once, whether I am Christlike or Satanlike, I still will never deny God's existance or Christ being the Son of God. Because honestly He is more real to me then most people around me who are barely even real to themselves. Either way God has altered my life in how I see it. With new found hope in glory.
I'm not a fad follower. I think it stupid to follow trends that in no way reflect who one is but rather distort it into something society currently wants.
I was a nice guy but I think I demoted myself into being just a "good guy" which is personally good for me because I get to further expand in expressing myself. And on the plus I can avoid being a girl's bestfriend.
I love to look at the positive outlook on life. Sad and whiney people tend to annoy me esp if its a constant thing. On the personal note some may say that my literature is dark and painful but that is not what I am trying to aim towards.
And if you may not have notice. I have the writing skills of an 8th grader and speak in somewhat of a personal slang. The more you know me, the easier the reading.
Thats about it for today. My first blogger blog and hopefully one that will provide somewhat of an understanding as to who I am.
To describe myself I am kind hearted genuinely (meaning that most of my intentions in life is for the good of goodness) though I tend to do things in a not so good manner but the result is almost always good.
I love the truth, I pratically celebrate it every day. And as a result I am pretty hated if not strongly dislike by people for doing so. I mean I personally would rather take a swift brutal truth to the face then a bloody overworded and edumacated(lol) lie. Its just who I am.
I also tend to be brutal in telling the truth, meaning that I can be very cut throat in making statements that I belive are true.
I am very surreal in the things I do and the things that come to mind. Distorting something as simple as a scenery involving a tree into an all out war of woodland critters claiming land.
(I swear I am sane...I think) I don't do this to express rage or secretly inner frustation but to entertain myself. I'm not pyhchologically derranged or unstable I'm just creative in a really crude way.
I am a complicated man in that I often make 2+2 seem like a trigometry equation. I guess simple things annoy me even if its within my level of understanding. Or that I enjoy a challenge.
I aknowledge that my creator so whenever I make statements like "When I was created I was not built with..." it is therefore of statement of the monotheistic God whose Son saved us in taking the backslashes we deserved. And I really don't care about what people say about God. whether its his existance or Christ's divinity or any made up conspiracy that dare morphs what He is. I will say it only once, whether I am Christlike or Satanlike, I still will never deny God's existance or Christ being the Son of God. Because honestly He is more real to me then most people around me who are barely even real to themselves. Either way God has altered my life in how I see it. With new found hope in glory.
I'm not a fad follower. I think it stupid to follow trends that in no way reflect who one is but rather distort it into something society currently wants.
I was a nice guy but I think I demoted myself into being just a "good guy" which is personally good for me because I get to further expand in expressing myself. And on the plus I can avoid being a girl's bestfriend.
I love to look at the positive outlook on life. Sad and whiney people tend to annoy me esp if its a constant thing. On the personal note some may say that my literature is dark and painful but that is not what I am trying to aim towards.
And if you may not have notice. I have the writing skills of an 8th grader and speak in somewhat of a personal slang. The more you know me, the easier the reading.
Thats about it for today. My first blogger blog and hopefully one that will provide somewhat of an understanding as to who I am.
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