I often wonder about the what-ifs, though I would rather not bother and keep looking forward. Yet it is hard to turn away when I'm filled with delusions that there's potential there. Someone so deserving of love and yet has been absent from it for years, someone so beautiful with their own sense of charms with a set of traditional values any good American could appreciate.
I often wonder what would have happened if I had taken that job if I perhaps hadn't found another before I saw you. I once described you as the sunshine of the day, ever bright, ever beaming with radiating joy, it was so hard not to love you and the same not to fall in love with you. I'm not saying I do but...there's at times I feel my heart rushing at the thought of you. I wish...I wish you would find someone worth loving and who could love you the same deservingly. Someone like you shouldn't be alone, someone like you deserve to be loved.
Even after years has gone by it still beats as if you were just here yesterday. It still speaks poetically to your name to the way you smile, the way you beam with joy, it's hard to see this horribly broken world when you're standing in front of me. There is reassurance in it, comfort and a deep sense of peace for the one who stands behind you is even greater. And you make that very evident.
But I cannot and should not, it's within the left eye that I can't trust- the heart that I hold contain for it runs purely on emotions and sways very easily as the leaves do. Leaving me with my mind, we cannot be together for anything built on betrayal will result in a cursed foundation, lacking every blessing and scowled by the very eyes of Heaven. So please find someone soon to love so that I may finally close this door and let go to never love you again.
To Kristina M, the sunshine of the day
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment