This is not really a blog more of just informing myself incase I get out of line. But currently I am working on a few fictional writing peices: Mokier's Lethal Peace, The Broken and the Lightborn, Murset's Testimony, Prophet, and Mak'er (which should go along the lines of Micos Statement). And I'm going to reedit Thorner Theory and War of the Future, hopefully to enhance the vocabulary and plot to make it more suited for readers.
These are current writing projects that I am working on. I guess this blog is simply a reminder to myself and just to inform anyone who may know me.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Musing about Marriage
"I may now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your yet to come wife"
I hate thinking too ahead of myself...but today I was thinking of my future as a husband. Honestly since I was very young (about 4 years old) it was always something I wanted to be. I mean the idea of being a husband and committed into a marriage with my wife was not scarey idea but rather something I love to imagine. But what did scare me was who the wife was going to be. Strange isn't it? A guy thinking these thoughts, but apparently I was created differently and thats just who I am.
It does scare me and I did have dreams of marrying the wrong woman. I remember a rather clear dream of where I had woken up to a new day only to realize it was my wedding day. We were at the church and I was dressed in my tux and everybody in my family was there to watch including the family of the bride (in this dream it my ex from long ago) As I waited at the alter, the "Bride's march" music began playing by an orchestra. I was excited and happy I then get a whisper in my ear, the man told me that my bride was nowhere to be found and had most likely ran away. Still the reception was held at my fathers old house and both of our family was there in disappointed and as they continued saying thier sorrys I sat there broken hearted and felt abandoned. After that all I remember was me eventually getting drunk and passing out. So as you may see I fear rejection.
My other dream was different. It was my wedding day and I was miserable, we shared our vowels at an alter of flaming burning hell. I really did not want to marry this bride and attempted to run away several times. But some how I was stuck and couldn't runaway from the alter. I said my vowels falsely and attending the reception which was held alongside of a lake. I was still miserable and knew I had made a huge mistake. As an attempt to drown out these thoughts I eventually consumed large amounts of alchohol and eventually said a bit too much about the bride. Some vulgure statements, and a few truthful remarks. lol All I remember was that I was being chased by my new in laws, I was running and laughing. Then a whole bunch of unrelated events occured and I woke up soon after. One of my funniest dreams I must say. Mainpoint is that I don't want to marry someone who I know is wrong for me.
Still I am ever so cautious in my choosing or even pursuing of anyone. Also I have but another 40 years of life to look for her. Even if I do not know her yet I still pray for her just as I did when I was younger. Truth is God has someone planned for me (I hope) and who better to trust then a man who knows everything about me. But thats just another thought, I'm still young and have allot to pursue. Its a thought for now but when the wedding day does come, may God be fully in it.
I hate thinking too ahead of myself...but today I was thinking of my future as a husband. Honestly since I was very young (about 4 years old) it was always something I wanted to be. I mean the idea of being a husband and committed into a marriage with my wife was not scarey idea but rather something I love to imagine. But what did scare me was who the wife was going to be. Strange isn't it? A guy thinking these thoughts, but apparently I was created differently and thats just who I am.
It does scare me and I did have dreams of marrying the wrong woman. I remember a rather clear dream of where I had woken up to a new day only to realize it was my wedding day. We were at the church and I was dressed in my tux and everybody in my family was there to watch including the family of the bride (in this dream it my ex from long ago) As I waited at the alter, the "Bride's march" music began playing by an orchestra. I was excited and happy I then get a whisper in my ear, the man told me that my bride was nowhere to be found and had most likely ran away. Still the reception was held at my fathers old house and both of our family was there in disappointed and as they continued saying thier sorrys I sat there broken hearted and felt abandoned. After that all I remember was me eventually getting drunk and passing out. So as you may see I fear rejection.
My other dream was different. It was my wedding day and I was miserable, we shared our vowels at an alter of flaming burning hell. I really did not want to marry this bride and attempted to run away several times. But some how I was stuck and couldn't runaway from the alter. I said my vowels falsely and attending the reception which was held alongside of a lake. I was still miserable and knew I had made a huge mistake. As an attempt to drown out these thoughts I eventually consumed large amounts of alchohol and eventually said a bit too much about the bride. Some vulgure statements, and a few truthful remarks. lol All I remember was that I was being chased by my new in laws, I was running and laughing. Then a whole bunch of unrelated events occured and I woke up soon after. One of my funniest dreams I must say. Mainpoint is that I don't want to marry someone who I know is wrong for me.
Still I am ever so cautious in my choosing or even pursuing of anyone. Also I have but another 40 years of life to look for her. Even if I do not know her yet I still pray for her just as I did when I was younger. Truth is God has someone planned for me (I hope) and who better to trust then a man who knows everything about me. But thats just another thought, I'm still young and have allot to pursue. Its a thought for now but when the wedding day does come, may God be fully in it.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Thanksgiving, Christmas and financial problems! Oh my!
Lets just say, things are not going to be smoothgoing anymore.
Today being the awesome day of my pay day, I was happy to see that i made an extra hundred then last week. Setting myself at home about ready to prepare my seafood meal for tonight was not as enjoyable as I had expected....
In quick summary my dad worked for Oasis food company awhile back and was laid off. Then he worked for another company for awhile. And he returned back to Oasis after they decided they wanted him back (almost sounds like a bloody break up story). My mom was working for a great well known company named Lokeed Martin, where she helped in the construction of certain arms. (How did she get the job? I really do not know, apparently she was just honest.) Well after her little dilemia she sort of left the company but without then knowing that she was gone. After her return back to Fl she remained unemployed for 4 months. And recently she is now working for a cleaning company (not as much benefits as Lookeed Martin).
And over June I have been employed with sweetbay as a service clerk/ cashier.
Now getting back to what I was saying. My dad has rescently been laid off again by Oasis, they first offered him a job close by but reducing his pay by $200 after they laid off 6 other managers, then once he got home they told him he was pretty much laid off. So its official that my mom and I are currently the only workers in the household. (shes only making $2 more then me by hour pay) I strongly believe things will get better but it tends to cost a bit of time. So as a result I will have to postpone my trip to my beloved Chi-town and wait another season till I will be able to see its beautifully heavy polluted air, with its overpayed roads and where Construction is an all year season. Also my mother is really aggravated feeling that even my supervisors are taking advantage of me and using my quality work for thier own greed
(something she has always said about my ex girlfriends and expecting her to say also about my future wife) So in order to cover for my dads bills and stuff I must avoid spending and start using my saved up cash to pay for the bills. And in response to this I only say *10 sec sigh* and life goes on. But no matter how tough things seem, or how hard I must push to get through some things I can only end the tough times by my favorite statement that "Life is beautiful". Also I'm going to apply all of this into my scholarship esseys as a way to slowly pay off my $40k college plan =P
ps. But at least I can enjoy my wait time because there is something to look forward to and someone worth chasing.
Today being the awesome day of my pay day, I was happy to see that i made an extra hundred then last week. Setting myself at home about ready to prepare my seafood meal for tonight was not as enjoyable as I had expected....
In quick summary my dad worked for Oasis food company awhile back and was laid off. Then he worked for another company for awhile. And he returned back to Oasis after they decided they wanted him back (almost sounds like a bloody break up story). My mom was working for a great well known company named Lokeed Martin, where she helped in the construction of certain arms. (How did she get the job? I really do not know, apparently she was just honest.) Well after her little dilemia she sort of left the company but without then knowing that she was gone. After her return back to Fl she remained unemployed for 4 months. And recently she is now working for a cleaning company (not as much benefits as Lookeed Martin).
And over June I have been employed with sweetbay as a service clerk/ cashier.
Now getting back to what I was saying. My dad has rescently been laid off again by Oasis, they first offered him a job close by but reducing his pay by $200 after they laid off 6 other managers, then once he got home they told him he was pretty much laid off. So its official that my mom and I are currently the only workers in the household. (shes only making $2 more then me by hour pay) I strongly believe things will get better but it tends to cost a bit of time. So as a result I will have to postpone my trip to my beloved Chi-town and wait another season till I will be able to see its beautifully heavy polluted air, with its overpayed roads and where Construction is an all year season. Also my mother is really aggravated feeling that even my supervisors are taking advantage of me and using my quality work for thier own greed
(something she has always said about my ex girlfriends and expecting her to say also about my future wife) So in order to cover for my dads bills and stuff I must avoid spending and start using my saved up cash to pay for the bills. And in response to this I only say *10 sec sigh* and life goes on. But no matter how tough things seem, or how hard I must push to get through some things I can only end the tough times by my favorite statement that "Life is beautiful". Also I'm going to apply all of this into my scholarship esseys as a way to slowly pay off my $40k college plan =P
ps. But at least I can enjoy my wait time because there is something to look forward to and someone worth chasing.
Key to human survival
Lately during my boring weekday workdays I have been spending sometime actually watching tv. All that I have been seeing is constant documentaries about how the world is going to end and pretty much all this 2012 stuff. It seems interesting and so I continued to watch it, but it wasn't until half way into the documentary did I realize the most obvious thing; these people over exagerate too much.
Now please understand me from my perspective as once living as a poor young boy in a poor nation. Where people who are born poor tend to always die poor. I came from a really ragged edge background and have lived a really rogh life despite it not feeling so. In one documentary it had mentioned that there will be a huge black out across the world. Saying that many would die and be devastated...my first thought was "I already went through that and I'm still alive" Heck 45% of the people are still alive without the dependancy of electricity (the other55% have electricity not dead). And people who live north of here would surely die without the dependancy of electricity in powering heaters. May I say again I have went through this *cough* firewood *cough* blankets and more blankets. In fact eskemos live this type of lifestyle through out thier entire lifetime and I'm sure there is a good number of them alive. And then the third argument that without electricity there would be a problem with food. *sigh* All I can say is "farmers", they grow thier food, they raise lifestock, and if you were to ask them "if they wanted to go shopping at walmart?" they would most likely repond saying "What type of walls do they sell? Dry walls? wooden?" If the planet were to experience a major black out, we already possess the ability to replace it esp seeing as we have many alternative power supplies such as: solar power, wind power, thermal power, even steam powered (for old school).
Main point is that we can survive without electricty and many other things. We would eventually learn to adapt and survive without the dependancy of such things. The less materialistic you are the better chances of survival, the less of a dependancy you have towards anything the more you should know in surviving. Me and my family we are survival of what these people call "devastating events" we have made it from the thin walls of chilly freezy nights, we have faced a lack of food supply for common weeks, we have lived months without electricity but yet we live and better understand what really matters in life. And in a way I guess I could thank my mom for showing me all of that, for showing me where I came from and that everything doesn't really matter. Most of all she has proved to be the greatest survivor I have ever known in changing my life at the face of death and bringing us a future that will bring hope in not dying poor but happy. Also I know how the world is going to end, our sunday school has been studying it the last 7 weeks. So I really have nothing to worry about if the end times come, not only do I know what will happen but that knowledge will not really matter once it does occur because most likely I will not be here. Most importantly God is always in control of everything. I have nothing to fear
So in closing the key to human survival is to not be strongly dependant on anything and to constantly see lifes greatest obstacles as a bumpy trip.
Now please understand me from my perspective as once living as a poor young boy in a poor nation. Where people who are born poor tend to always die poor. I came from a really ragged edge background and have lived a really rogh life despite it not feeling so. In one documentary it had mentioned that there will be a huge black out across the world. Saying that many would die and be devastated...my first thought was "I already went through that and I'm still alive" Heck 45% of the people are still alive without the dependancy of electricity (the other55% have electricity not dead). And people who live north of here would surely die without the dependancy of electricity in powering heaters. May I say again I have went through this *cough* firewood *cough* blankets and more blankets. In fact eskemos live this type of lifestyle through out thier entire lifetime and I'm sure there is a good number of them alive. And then the third argument that without electricity there would be a problem with food. *sigh* All I can say is "farmers", they grow thier food, they raise lifestock, and if you were to ask them "if they wanted to go shopping at walmart?" they would most likely repond saying "What type of walls do they sell? Dry walls? wooden?" If the planet were to experience a major black out, we already possess the ability to replace it esp seeing as we have many alternative power supplies such as: solar power, wind power, thermal power, even steam powered (for old school).
Main point is that we can survive without electricty and many other things. We would eventually learn to adapt and survive without the dependancy of such things. The less materialistic you are the better chances of survival, the less of a dependancy you have towards anything the more you should know in surviving. Me and my family we are survival of what these people call "devastating events" we have made it from the thin walls of chilly freezy nights, we have faced a lack of food supply for common weeks, we have lived months without electricity but yet we live and better understand what really matters in life. And in a way I guess I could thank my mom for showing me all of that, for showing me where I came from and that everything doesn't really matter. Most of all she has proved to be the greatest survivor I have ever known in changing my life at the face of death and bringing us a future that will bring hope in not dying poor but happy. Also I know how the world is going to end, our sunday school has been studying it the last 7 weeks. So I really have nothing to worry about if the end times come, not only do I know what will happen but that knowledge will not really matter once it does occur because most likely I will not be here. Most importantly God is always in control of everything. I have nothing to fear
So in closing the key to human survival is to not be strongly dependant on anything and to constantly see lifes greatest obstacles as a bumpy trip.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Journey to retrieving the magical modem
To summarize it I busted the modem into peices in an attempt to fix its connection problem. I then fix the device to working as it did before using nothing but nail clippers, a pokey thing, and duct tape. But then it failed me yet again so I attempt by messing with the inside parts, but while attempting to do so I broke another part yet again and this time it was broken for good.
After 40 minutes of speaking to lovely loathing technicians across the phone I was then instructed to go to a far out land to a Brighthouse store nearby. Which would be near west linebaugh ave. I then gave him my thanks and gave him full 5 on his survey with no comments.
My jounrney begun from my house at 11:00am. I grabbed my broken modem and headed to Busch blvd to Gunnhwy. I walked 3 miles till a reached a bus stop, then rode less then a mile to linebaugh. Then I walked 3 miles west linebaugh until I finally reached a brighthouse store. Where I then spoke to a desk clerk and swapped it in under a minute then headed back to linebaugh and waited yet again for the bus.
...and then went to Citrus, ate food, paid for movie ticket, walked more, walked some more, and bought Muse new album The Resistence. And then watched 2012.
I guess none of the ending stuff really matter but main point, I got home at 6:20pm. And I think I got enough of a workout for a week and will think twice before destroying another device.
Nevermind in fact I really don't think the main point matters I just felt like writing a fail blog
After 40 minutes of speaking to lovely loathing technicians across the phone I was then instructed to go to a far out land to a Brighthouse store nearby. Which would be near west linebaugh ave. I then gave him my thanks and gave him full 5 on his survey with no comments.
My jounrney begun from my house at 11:00am. I grabbed my broken modem and headed to Busch blvd to Gunnhwy. I walked 3 miles till a reached a bus stop, then rode less then a mile to linebaugh. Then I walked 3 miles west linebaugh until I finally reached a brighthouse store. Where I then spoke to a desk clerk and swapped it in under a minute then headed back to linebaugh and waited yet again for the bus.
...and then went to Citrus, ate food, paid for movie ticket, walked more, walked some more, and bought Muse new album The Resistence. And then watched 2012.
I guess none of the ending stuff really matter but main point, I got home at 6:20pm. And I think I got enough of a workout for a week and will think twice before destroying another device.
Nevermind in fact I really don't think the main point matters I just felt like writing a fail blog
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
A good man's apology letter
To all the good girls who strongly dislike me
I'm going to write an apology letter to you all :
I'm sorry if I like to say "You look really nice today" and actually mean it
I'm sorry if during a date I don't mind paying for your food and/or movie ticket
I'm sorry if I have a sense of humor and that I like to laugh
I'm sorry if I have good hygiene and actually take a bath
I'm sorry if I provide you with my own jacket when your feeling cold
I'm sorry if I have a heart that is both strong and bold
I'm sorry if I pick up the phone regardless of what time it may be
I'm sorry if I like to put you ahead of most things even me
I'm sorry if I see the importance of your emotional needs
I'm sorry if I don't hurt your heart in letting it bleed
I'm sorry if I tend to help cheer you up after a bad day
I'm sorry if I mean everything that I say
I'm sorry if when you speak I actually listen and acknoledge your there
I'm sorry if during those moments I'm not daydreaming of you in your underwear
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I am just too "good" of a boy to be accepted by you
If I respect you as a woman should be, I'm so sorry...but thats just me
I'm also sorry that I don't drink, smoke or do drugs
but instead have a good general self-care and an addict hugs
I'm sorry that I don't use more curse words then I do your name
I'm sorry that I don't consider every relationship as just another game
I'm sorry that I don't see you as an obejct but an actual human being
I'm sorry that I'm not a self centered man/or self tryant king
I'm sorry that I'm actually wanting to be successful in my distant future
I'm so sorry I'm not unloyal, heartless or immature
I'm a kind and patient fellow, I just can't control myself
Being nice and considerate, I feel like a monster please forgive me
And having a brain, wow I'm a freak
But I'm not sorry in who I am
So again may I say I'm sorry my dear,
But your opinion does not affect me nor does it shed a tear
Self aware and confident in myself...something that will not change
Sincerely, a good man without a name
I'm going to write an apology letter to you all :
I'm sorry if I like to say "You look really nice today" and actually mean it
I'm sorry if during a date I don't mind paying for your food and/or movie ticket
I'm sorry if I have a sense of humor and that I like to laugh
I'm sorry if I have good hygiene and actually take a bath
I'm sorry if I provide you with my own jacket when your feeling cold
I'm sorry if I have a heart that is both strong and bold
I'm sorry if I pick up the phone regardless of what time it may be
I'm sorry if I like to put you ahead of most things even me
I'm sorry if I see the importance of your emotional needs
I'm sorry if I don't hurt your heart in letting it bleed
I'm sorry if I tend to help cheer you up after a bad day
I'm sorry if I mean everything that I say
I'm sorry if when you speak I actually listen and acknoledge your there
I'm sorry if during those moments I'm not daydreaming of you in your underwear
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I am just too "good" of a boy to be accepted by you
If I respect you as a woman should be, I'm so sorry...but thats just me
I'm also sorry that I don't drink, smoke or do drugs
but instead have a good general self-care and an addict hugs
I'm sorry that I don't use more curse words then I do your name
I'm sorry that I don't consider every relationship as just another game
I'm sorry that I don't see you as an obejct but an actual human being
I'm sorry that I'm not a self centered man/or self tryant king
I'm sorry that I'm actually wanting to be successful in my distant future
I'm so sorry I'm not unloyal, heartless or immature
I'm a kind and patient fellow, I just can't control myself
Being nice and considerate, I feel like a monster please forgive me
And having a brain, wow I'm a freak
But I'm not sorry in who I am
So again may I say I'm sorry my dear,
But your opinion does not affect me nor does it shed a tear
Self aware and confident in myself...something that will not change
Sincerely, a good man without a name
Monday, November 9, 2009
Worse public bus experience...ever. Based upon true events
Today started off with tear shed and eye gouging. As I walked to the bus station looking forward to a long day of work I had suddenly saw the Bus 1 pass by 9 minutes early which meant I would most likely be arriving late for work. But that didn't bother me too much I still had a day to get through, so I breathed in deeply and exhaled. When my bus finally arrived it was 11:51am (I was suppose to be at work by 12:00am) I was hoping just to be 5 minutes late to the most but not bad enough that my managers would scold me for it. But just when I thought being late would be bad my bus trip got so much worse.
Upon arriving on the next stop, a crippled man sat down in the front seats then two black women got on the bus with a baby, the first black woman appeared a bit older and was the mother of the child. The second woman...well lets just say "Big" was an understatement. She looked like she was about 300lbs if not the late 200s. She had the facial structure of a bull dog and the body of a walrus, she wore a medium size t-shirt that was 3 times too small. And she clearly did not understand the purpose of a belt. The baby was inside a carriage with bags of Burger King meals on top of her. The older lady was walking the aisles in which she continually bumped the baby holder several times against the seats until finally settling in a row of seats across from me. But then the second woman arrived yelling "Dam they so rude!" across the bus in reference to the bus driver and crippeled man. Despite there being other available seats around the bus, she decided sitting next to me would be best. But then it happened, as I was sitting facing forward, she sat down with her backside facing me leaving squished against the window and in an akward position. May I mention again this women did NOT wear a belt, as a consequence half of her butt hung out from her pants. So in a way she was sitting on me! And I tried the hardest possible to keep a straight face (I wanted to gag so badly). The woman then pulls out her Bk meal and began munching on fries while talking to her friend. I continued to keep quiet as I started breathing through from my mouth not daring to smell the foul odor that reeked from the brown fjord/crack.
Hoping this bus trip will get soon to my destination it did anything but lighten up. Our bus driver picked up a bum who was really attatched to his cart full of trash. Then a mother with her children also entered the bus, along with another family who also had children . A little girl from one of the family sat infront of us and she watched this walrusbeing munching on her meal. The little girl reached out as though to beg for some fries only to be encountered with a snarl from thebeast and also a scolding from her mother as she then said "You can eat at home".
As we continued going down Florida avenue our bus begins filling up more and more people even mexicans in a carpools were laughing at us (I would know). I realize then"I am going to be so late". Being stuck in such an akward situation made me wish that some random gunman would enter our bus and shoot me at point blank range in my head for no reason. As I was texting my friends begging that one of them may possibly have a cyenide pill. I see from the corners of my eyes this women drawing closer to my phone attempting to peep at my message. In attempt to hide it I rotate the screen slowly torwards me...success!
Finally it was time for me to get off. My heart began to fill with joy, and my tears were drying up as I danced off the bus with a big smile that God had finally spared little shed of light of mercy on me...(but not really because the bus didn't stop until a block later). I jumped out the bus and dance my way to work until I realized I was now 12minutes late.. Though I was dramatized with an unexpected lapdance by a 300lb woman, and though a cried a little as a was being violated unententionally, I can still say after such a horrible experience...that life is beautiful. And also God has a sense of humor because this could only happen to the goodguys.
by Marco
Upon arriving on the next stop, a crippled man sat down in the front seats then two black women got on the bus with a baby, the first black woman appeared a bit older and was the mother of the child. The second woman...well lets just say "Big" was an understatement. She looked like she was about 300lbs if not the late 200s. She had the facial structure of a bull dog and the body of a walrus, she wore a medium size t-shirt that was 3 times too small. And she clearly did not understand the purpose of a belt. The baby was inside a carriage with bags of Burger King meals on top of her. The older lady was walking the aisles in which she continually bumped the baby holder several times against the seats until finally settling in a row of seats across from me. But then the second woman arrived yelling "Dam they so rude!" across the bus in reference to the bus driver and crippeled man. Despite there being other available seats around the bus, she decided sitting next to me would be best. But then it happened, as I was sitting facing forward, she sat down with her backside facing me leaving squished against the window and in an akward position. May I mention again this women did NOT wear a belt, as a consequence half of her butt hung out from her pants. So in a way she was sitting on me! And I tried the hardest possible to keep a straight face (I wanted to gag so badly). The woman then pulls out her Bk meal and began munching on fries while talking to her friend. I continued to keep quiet as I started breathing through from my mouth not daring to smell the foul odor that reeked from the brown fjord/crack.
Hoping this bus trip will get soon to my destination it did anything but lighten up. Our bus driver picked up a bum who was really attatched to his cart full of trash. Then a mother with her children also entered the bus, along with another family who also had children . A little girl from one of the family sat infront of us and she watched this walrusbeing munching on her meal. The little girl reached out as though to beg for some fries only to be encountered with a snarl from thebeast and also a scolding from her mother as she then said "You can eat at home".
As we continued going down Florida avenue our bus begins filling up more and more people even mexicans in a carpools were laughing at us (I would know). I realize then"I am going to be so late". Being stuck in such an akward situation made me wish that some random gunman would enter our bus and shoot me at point blank range in my head for no reason. As I was texting my friends begging that one of them may possibly have a cyenide pill. I see from the corners of my eyes this women drawing closer to my phone attempting to peep at my message. In attempt to hide it I rotate the screen slowly torwards me...success!
Finally it was time for me to get off. My heart began to fill with joy, and my tears were drying up as I danced off the bus with a big smile that God had finally spared little shed of light of mercy on me...(but not really because the bus didn't stop until a block later). I jumped out the bus and dance my way to work until I realized I was now 12minutes late.. Though I was dramatized with an unexpected lapdance by a 300lb woman, and though a cried a little as a was being violated unententionally, I can still say after such a horrible experience...that life is beautiful. And also God has a sense of humor because this could only happen to the goodguys.
by Marco
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